BOOSH
by SmashStar
Summary: Mai furst attempt at a storrii 3 ;D
1. Chapter 1

Author's note – Haii guys, this b mai furst attempt at writing anythin...so wish me lotsa luck ;)

Hai, mai nem is Rockzaenn, but u can cal me Roxxii, cos that iz such a cyute name. I'm 20 yearz old, I hav long purpl hare which reaches teh bak of mah nees. I hav green eyez which r the culur of grass. I wer glasses, but im not a nerd. I am from Azrbaijin originly but my mum nd dad moved to Amerca wen I wuz four yeers old.

Imma princess. But I work undercvr at a small shoppe in meri old Englund. Sed shoppe belongs to a grup of hawt Englush men. Thes hawt men r caled Howurd Mun nd Vince Noir. Howurd is nut acshully hawt, hes a munter. Vince is fukin sexxii – cuz he weard los of hawt makeup liek eyeshado and eye liner. He also has a lot of luvly cloths, like skinny jeans nd Chelsee bootz. All Howurd wears is fukin scabby corduroy nd printed shurtz which make his mobs stand out from a thousund feat away. Sumtimes wen Howurd th twat isnt in I like to look thru Vince's cloths...and sumtimes I try them on. I liek too pretend im Vince Noir, Rok n Rol starr...that is wut Vince culls himself sumtimes.  
>I liek to also try on his panties. Howurd the turd buyz Vince French knickers frum tiem too tiem. I tink they mebbee a ghey cupple. I'm nut homofobbic. But Vince has lots uf pair of beautiful, silky French knickers in his underwere drawrs.<p>

Anywey, wen I'm not workin at the shoppe wiv Howurd nd Vince I go too skool. I hav no frends at th stooped skool I was made to go too. Its a shitty skool anyway, the corridurs smel like cat piss and everyone dreses funny. A bit liek Howurd – he smels liek cat piss nd dreses liek an absoloot spakker. I dunt kno wer Vince picked Howurd up frum...I think he fund him in a guttr sumwer in Englund. Sumtimes Vince let me burro his sexxii cloths fur skool, so I "fit in". I dunt fit in – insted I stand out liek a sor thum. I get called all surts uf namez, but I couldn't giv a fukk.

Wun nite I was workin in the shoppe with Howurd nd Vince, wen sum twat wakked in. He wuz brite green liek mai eyez nd he walked liek a grandpa but not as knobbly. He had a huge-as Pollo mint over wun eye nd his big eyez wer all green, again, liek mine.  
>evenin skewer, he sed, he had a funny ascent, a bit liek the Queen but scruffii.<br>oh hai thar, replid Vince wif his sexxii accent.  
>Howurd stood behind Vince nd screemed. It's !<br>I rold mai big green eyez and tugged at mai purpl hair. Guyz, stuppit, I moaned.  
>Teh green man starred at uss like we were stupid-as-fuck. But we wer not. Whats ur name? I asked the grren man.<br>My naim is THEEEEEEE HITCHRE, yelled the green man (liek a fukkin BOSS). 

Plz comment nd tell mee what u think =D x


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Ugh y u giv me so menny bad revewz? I trid relly hard wiv dat last chaptah! Dus nobbuddy liek the hitcher anymore? I thot he wuz a good charactr! Oh and I suggest u check out mai friend FlyingTanuki (Hazzy), ir wuz her who gut me int2 writing, nd she helped wiv da plot!

Teh Hitchre was won fukkin ugly bastarrd. Vince didn't seem sacred bi him at al. Howurd the cunt hid behind Vince liek a littul girl! The Hitcher stared funnii at me.  
>"And wat is ur name, sinc u asked mein!" he exclamd.<br>"Mien is Rockzaenn!" I crid, as icy blu tearz stremmed dun my pallid cheeks. I wuz afraid of dis man too.  
>He smirked. "Ohhhhhhhh, u r scared of meeeeeeeee, icky gurl pants," he cakeld.<br>Howurd was blushing. I think he fancies me, but he nos I relly liek Vince. I also think he knows I liek to were Vince's littul French knickers. 

The Hicher was a bt smelly to. Liek teh beach. Eggy and stinky. And salty. So that kinda maeks him smell leik a sewer an all. It made me feel very very sick. I threw up on Vince's luvvely silver Chelsee bootz. He stared at me liek a little boy ogling an ice cream van.  
>"Roxxii WTF wuz dat four?"<br>"Dat man smeellz veeeeeery stinky and it rly churned mah stomack. U smell yummeh liek cologne but he's a stinky-winky!"  
>"Who cares. We need to get rid of dis dunce. B4 Howurd...oh too l8."<br>We turned to stare at Howurd. His scabby trooserz were rund his ankles nd he had his massive mans bits hanging out between his legs. Hiz cock wuz drippin wiv piss. The basturd, hes pissed himself liek a little child! That, I thut, wuz vile, so I threw up again, but this time onto Howurd'z shoos. HOwurd burst in2 tearz, but by that tiem I hud stupped cryin becuz I had thrown up twice and was no longer sacred. 

"WTF, id der a raisin im still standin here?" asked teh hitcher. "U usually kick me out pretty early."  
>"Define, early," questioned Howurd.<br>"After I walk in und yelle 'EVENIN' SQUIRE!" u usually kick me oot! But not tonite! I'm still standin here! And ur new recruit has vomited twice, on you 2 munterz. Serves u rite, u tosserz!"  
>Howurd wuz still sobbin a littul but Vince wuz oblivious. He picked up a pencil off teh shoop cunter nd jabbed the hitcher in teh arse wiv it! No idea y he did it. I tink he mebbe wanted 2 mek Howurd proud. Cos they usually bitched at each odder soooooooooooo much!<br>Te Hitcher yelled angrily at Vince. "Y u stick a pencil up me bum?", he asked furriuskly.  
>"Cuz u med Howurd piss himself. Only I'M allowed to do dat!" (Vince haz a piss thingy – he lieks Howurds wee on his stomach. Mekks him happeh, wen Howurd pees on him. OK, dey r defo a ghey cupple!)<br>"Hohoho!" laffed de HItchre.  
>"Oh end u med Roxxii cry! AND Howurd! Dey r my friends. But Howurd is my boyfriend. I kno u fancy me Roxxii, but I luv Hourd!"<br>Vince walked up 2 Howerd nd they kissed passionately. I began to cry a little but it didn't matter rly becuz they wer happeh.  
>Teh Hitcher just stood there. He took out hiz green dick nd wanked to the sight he wuz witnessing.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note: Ugh u all hate my goddamm fanfiction. Y u so nasteh. I spend daiz tryn 2 think of sootabul plot lions and whatknott. BTW I am being srs. I amnt a troll or whatever u called me.

As the green basterd was manhandling his manmeat, I stared at Howurdd nd Vincey, who were now on teh floor, basikly gettin it on. Howrd had his bits up Vicnes bum. I wasnt sur how 2 react, rully, but I wanted to kick the green tit, out of the shoppe in2 thu street.  
>I wokked up to teh green man.<br>"GTFO of teh shup," I growled.  
>The green guy look at me.<br>"Haven't had a wank like that in agesssssssssssssssss," he moaned.  
>"R u gettin off on watchin a luvvely yung ghey cupple have bumsecks?" I creyd.<br>"Y yess," he purred seductively. I scremmed.  
>Howurd who was basically giving Vince a massive bumming, turned to look at me.<br>"Roxxii you girly ponce, get that green basterd out of our shoppe."  
>I looked at teh bummin cupple and gave a sexy nod.<br>"Yes sirs," I goggled, grabbin teh gren twit buy his hand and draggn him into the street.

When we wer out, teh green spakker looked at me. Then, he grabbed me by my bewbs nd bit down in my nek. I cried oot, "HELP HE'S A MUTHAFUKKIN VAMPIRE!" but all I herd in responz was Howrd nd Vince moaning nd pounding each other furiously into th grund.  
>"Fukkin hellllllllllllll!11!" I grunted, marching bak into de shup and slapping Howard who was now wanking Vince.<br>He looked at meh and stuck out his tunge.  
>"Roxxii, y u screem?" he asked.<br>"Dat green weird just bit me and I think he mebbe a rapist!" I squeaked, slapping Howurd again, then I burst into fludds of teerz.  
>Howurd pulled his dick out of Vince nd stood up. Then he kissed me on teh cheek.<br>Vinc e stared at us angrily, hopping up and slappin me harrrrrrrd cross teh fce.  
>"Bisch," he creyed, before running upstairs, nekked.<p>

Few minuts l8r we herd Naboo nd Bolo shooting duwn to us.  
>"Howurd, Roxxi, y is Vince nekked?" shutted Naboo. "I'm trying to get sum sleep then I get this nekked loser fucking running into my bedroom!"<br>Howurd rolled his eyes nd I kissed him on teh lips. "Shush now bb boy, let's hav sex on the couch."  
>He picked me up, threw me on the couch then stuck his massive mans thingy in my vajayjay and we did it there and then. No, it wus not my first tiem. I'd fucked a mate of Vince's when we wer both drunk. His mate was well goffick. So's Vince. Vince is a fekkin goff prince.<br>It was very sexy sex it wus. And it would hav been well sexxxxxxxxxxier uf Vinc had nott come down just as Howurd screamed out "ROXXII MY FUKKIN GOD", orgasm nd pulled out nd jazzed hard on my legs.  
>When Vince saw it he ran out onto the street. He wus still nekked.<p> 


End file.
